Michelle Jacqueline
0"Okay, this is gonna make me puke. Selena has to go." — my dad reacts to Selena Gomez’s new music video
12"This show is funny. I don’t even care. It’s a riot." — My dad on iCarly
0"Where’s your other friend? Where’s Katie? Where’s Jessica? They left you here all alone. They’re not very good friends." — My dad speaks to my dog about friendship
2

The part of Despicable Me when Gru reads the story book about the kittens to the little girls reminds me of my dad.

“Wow, this is garbage. You actually like this?”

1"She sits in the corner and doesn’t bother anybody. She’s like a plant." — My dad describing me
6

Every night before my dad goes to bed he pours out his cereal and puts all the stuff he likes in it (minus milk) then covers it with saran wrap and leaves it on the counter so it’s ready for him in the morning. And he lays a spoon on top of it. lol, it’s so cute.

Oh and in the winter he takes the hair dryer and uses it on his bed so his covers are warm before he gets into bed, lolol.

0 Commercial: Stop being a drug addict.
My dad: But I'm having so much fun!
0

“She’ll tell you she’s not lazy, but she’s one of the laziest people I know … Well, you’re a close second.”

My dad talking about my sister and I.

0

My dad would find a life lesson in an episode of Criminal Minds. “This is why you gotta have an evacuation plan for fires.”

0 woman on proactive commercial: i feel amazing.
my dad: you sure don't look amazing, lady.
3 Girl on TV: Justin Bieber was born in 1994.
Dad: Big deal, I have shoes older than him.
0 Me: These people are so dumb.
My dad: What else is new?
4

My dad told me watching Jersey Shore would lower my IQ.

Some damn good advice.